Over the past year I have been witness to an amazing thing. We found out on March 1, 2013 that my mother had gall bladder cancer. It was devastating to our family and friends. We asked the question WHY HER and WHY NOW many many times.
Even now I cannot grasp the gravity of the how and why. I know that this woman helped to transform the lives of many people that I will never get to meet. Her impact on this world may not be as well known as some women such as Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony or Hillary Clinton, but to many (myself included) she is an angel who walked this earth and sacrificed so much for so many and never asked for anything in return except for love. Love of one another and love of the Lord.
Some may look at her battle over the past year and look at how much it wore her down. I can look back and only see how it made her stronger. She never wavered in her faith, and she never wanted to inconvenience others. She had an attitude that she was going to overcome this from day one and never gave up. Her drive through this is an inspiration to me, as it should be to anyone else who knew her.
She hated having to ask the nurses for help in the hospital. She was worried about who was going to clean the house. Worried about not having finished the book she was reading. Worried about us driving back and forth to the hospital. Worried about where everyone was going to sleep when we all came to visit. Worried about what we were all going to eat.
As I reflect back on what I have seen from her during her battle I can see how she got stronger mentally and grew through all of this.
I feel like she has been preparing herself for the transformation into her eternal form. I feel as if it is parallel to the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. It may seem like the end for a caterpillar, but what emerges is something completely different, something that can move around effortlessly and float around from one place to another.
I am sad that my mother is no longer in earthly form, however I do rejoice that she has already had a talk with Saint Peter and has entered through the gates of Heaven and she is now catching up with so many of her friends and family that are already up there.
I have peace knowing that I will be able to see her again when it is the Lord's will for me to be done here. I just hope that I can be half as courageous and faithful when my time comes.
And in case anyone is wondering, she did get to finish her book. Pam finished reading it to her in the hospital in her final days.
Even now I cannot grasp the gravity of the how and why. I know that this woman helped to transform the lives of many people that I will never get to meet. Her impact on this world may not be as well known as some women such as Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony or Hillary Clinton, but to many (myself included) she is an angel who walked this earth and sacrificed so much for so many and never asked for anything in return except for love. Love of one another and love of the Lord.
Some may look at her battle over the past year and look at how much it wore her down. I can look back and only see how it made her stronger. She never wavered in her faith, and she never wanted to inconvenience others. She had an attitude that she was going to overcome this from day one and never gave up. Her drive through this is an inspiration to me, as it should be to anyone else who knew her.
She hated having to ask the nurses for help in the hospital. She was worried about who was going to clean the house. Worried about not having finished the book she was reading. Worried about us driving back and forth to the hospital. Worried about where everyone was going to sleep when we all came to visit. Worried about what we were all going to eat.
As I reflect back on what I have seen from her during her battle I can see how she got stronger mentally and grew through all of this.
I feel like she has been preparing herself for the transformation into her eternal form. I feel as if it is parallel to the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. It may seem like the end for a caterpillar, but what emerges is something completely different, something that can move around effortlessly and float around from one place to another.
I am sad that my mother is no longer in earthly form, however I do rejoice that she has already had a talk with Saint Peter and has entered through the gates of Heaven and she is now catching up with so many of her friends and family that are already up there.
I have peace knowing that I will be able to see her again when it is the Lord's will for me to be done here. I just hope that I can be half as courageous and faithful when my time comes.
And in case anyone is wondering, she did get to finish her book. Pam finished reading it to her in the hospital in her final days.
What a beautiful blog post. And you're right--Your mom was always thinking of others--especially her family. Her life revolved around you guys-- (check out the old Christmas Newsletters!)
ReplyDeleteI particularly loved the analogy of the butterfly. Just before you called with the news, I was checking out hotels for our trip up North and asked Ken to look at some options. As he stood next to me he stopped to point out the Queen butterfly that was posing, open winged, on the Yucca bloom outside the library window. Beautiful.
But I remember thinking then how odd- I see lots of Queens here in my garden, but almost always in the back garden and never before on the yucca bloom: usually they look for yellows or blues, not pink. Coincidence?
I will always have that picture in my mind: the queen butterfly on the yucca bloom; always remember your mom when I see a Queen in the Library garden.
Love you guys--hope you all find peace.
A quote:
“I don't think that anything happens by coincidence... We must assume every event has significance and contains a message that pertains to our questions...Learn to slow down and perceive the mysterious events and opportunities that happen in life. We call them coincidences, but if we look closely we see they are meaningful. They bring us just the right information at just the right time to extend our careers, relationships, and growth. These events feel destined in some way, as though the world is set up to help us make a better life, work through our problems, and reach our dreams - if we just pay attention.”
― James Redfield