Lonlieness in a connected world

We live in a very connected world.  Just about everyone over the age of 16 has a smartphone (some even have two) on their hip, in their pocket or purse.  As of 2012, a study showed that per every 100 persons in the US there are 98 cell phone subscriptions.  And each day that creeps closer and closer to 100.  I would venture to say that half or more of these people have the phone within an arms reach 24 hours a day too!

I remember when data enabled cell phones came out back in the early 2000's.  We all had that one friend that thought it was SO COOL they could get their email on their phone and showed it off to everyone...over and over again.  I am so glad I was not that guy.  Now it is common place.  Heck, I remember in 2004 when I got a Palm Treo and was able to tether wirelessly to my laptop and get online.  I never showed it off to anyone, but people noticed.  Why didn't I show it off?  I didn't want to be "that guy" who annoyed everyone with their gadgets.

Anywho, back to the topic at hand.  Shortly after CrackBerries became popular I saw this Dilbert comic strip:

Now, this doesn't just apply to email, it applies to ANY notification many people get.  One of my colleagues just got an iPhone about 2  years ago.  He had never had a smartphone, but now he is an addict.  I have been in a long technical conversation with him and his email notification goes off and he HAS to check it right then.  He will just whip it out in the middle of the conversation and read/respond to it.  RUDE!

I also have a friend that when I was visiting them recently I had put my phone on the kitchen table when I got there.  We were chatting and my phone made a notification for Facebook, or something.  My friend stopped mid sentence and informed me that my phone just went off.  I told them that I am aware, I heard it, but I am not worried about it and that I will check it in a bit.  A few minutes later another notification came in.  I noticed their behavior, THEY were getting anxious and uneasy that I was not running to my phone.  This friend is someone who has their phone glued to their hand. I am guessing they sleep with their phone in their hand too, but I cannot prove it. 

That brings me to the next scary thing some people deal with now a days...sleep texting.  It has made national news, like this article on CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/22/tech/mobile/sleep-texting/.  It can extend to more than just texting like Twitter, Facebook, and other social media outlets.  Even email.

And another thing I read about is called Popcorn Brain.  Basically, using the internet and other tech devices can alter your brain.  Even watching TV, you will feel a desire to have your phone, laptop or tablet out to check on your online life.  Maybe someone emailed you, or posted something fun on your wall.

The article recommends getting away from technology when possible and socializing, daydreaming, etc.  Have you ever actually tried getting away from the internet?  It can be lonely if you don't have someone to talk to.  It ties into not having patience, and even when we are connected, how often have you just started email, facebooking, tweeting, IMing etc. friends to try to get some interaction because you are lonely?  And what happens when you don't get a response for 1 minute, 5 minutes, or even 15 minutes.  You may start to feel depressed and more alone, as if no one cares about you.  This is rarely ever the case, do remember that other people have lives that they are living. 

I have had these issues in the past 8 months since learning to live as a bachelor, however in the past 2-3 months it has gotten much better.  Mostly because I took this time to look inside myself and figure out what I need to do to find happiness.  Yes, I did do a lot of talking to myself, but I needed to talk to someone who understand me, is smart and has all the answers!  I have found happiness from within and I no longer have the loneliness that I have had in the past.  Heck, I feel less alone now that I have in years.

Happiness comes from within.  Trying to rely on others for our happiness is only a temporary solution.  Once those others leave, we still have to keep ones self happy.  Finding inner peace is a huge part of helping with this.  Dealing with the stresses and anxiety we have towards others, as well as one's self, are key to leading a happy and healthy lifestyle.  Then we will not need to rely on others to keep us feeling like we are loved.  We will know we are loved by those around us even when they are not there for us.  And try to do what you can to limit your time on your digital devices.